Those dates represent the lifespan of my mother. She past away last Friday after being in a hospital in Eureka California for over a week. She'd been in generally poor health the past decade or so. She had breathing problems from all her years of smoking, she'd started as a teen, and finally it was from her own bad lungs and all the medications she was taking that was too much for her body. She took some of the meds to breath easier, but they caused weight problems for her and didn't allow her enough breath to ever really exercise to try and stay a little fit.
I'd talked with her about a week before and she was in good spirits, just tired of feeling like she was going to throw up all the time from a medication 'adjustment' her doctor had done about two months before. She had been scheduled for another appointment to address that problem in just a few days. Didn't happen though.
During the night of July 15th, she had a lot of difficulty breathing. Chris wanted to take her to the hospital, but she was also very weak so an Ambulance was called. At the hospital she was put on a ventilator. That got her oxygen, but then what to do for her future? Chris said that twice in the first few days she'd almost died. She was too weak, too dehydrated, then her doctor said that a type of tracheotomy could be performed that would let her breath through a tube which supposedly would make it easier for her lungs. She'd be unable to talk anymore, and the risk of infection is apparently pretty high for these types of procedures. Biggest problem for us was the 'no guarantee' of just how long this could work. A month, a year, five years? Just too uncertain. We all talked while mom stayed sedated. It came down to her call. She couldn't talk because of the mask used for the pressurized oxygen she was on then. So it was some written notes, nods or shakes of the head when she was awake. She was told of her options on the morning of the 24th. Chris said her response was a note that said "just help me go to sleep".
Her regular doctor came in that afternoon and was talking with Chris about all that had been told and mom's decision that morning. He insisted in having her awoken from her sedation to ask again if she wanted the surgery. Being out of it from the sedation, this time she indicated she wanted the surgery. Chris called and told me what had been happening and ask what I thought we should do should mom not completely become coherent should a decision be needed.
I said we'd know what she'd really want if she couldn't make the call, but if she could, it had to be hers to make.
So the morning of the 25th she was awake and not sedated. Another doctor was on duty and told them all in the room that after her reviews of the medical history, her opinion was that at best the surgery would buy just a little more time. Not much more. Mom made the decision then and stuck with just go to sleep. Chris said the doctor was okay with that and would do all possible to make her comfortable for as long as possible. Later that morning and back on the sedatives the ventilator was removed. She died at about 5:30 pm.
I wasn't there. I live a day and a half away and since it was to unknown on a prognosis, I went with all the text messages and calls of her condition. I talked on the phone with her but she couldn't answer. Chris said she understood it was me.
Mom was something. She was married too young, she was always talking about how we'd graduated high school together because she was pregnant with me then way back in 1957. While it is unfortunately common today, I often wondered about her life being single and with a kid in that era. She was very opinionated and anyone that knew her knew about that trait. She'd say what was on her mind with no apparent real concern on the repercussions.
And right or wrong, if she thought she was right, that was all that mattered. She'd kept years of her journals, and once when she was moving from Southern Calif to Northern Calif, I saw a couple. She even wrote it as she saw it. Again, right or wrong, she wrote it the way she saw it!
Oh well. I could and should write some of the memories down. If not here then at least on the home computer before they all are gone forever. She was tough! But she was also in a lot of pain and discomfort. It was really a sad day to know that she'd made the ultimate decision about her own life. I know how tough it was for all there in her room at the end, it was similar when Stacy's mom passed away in 1997.
So to know that she's not in the discomfort she was is still a relief.
Tad
I'd talked with her about a week before and she was in good spirits, just tired of feeling like she was going to throw up all the time from a medication 'adjustment' her doctor had done about two months before. She had been scheduled for another appointment to address that problem in just a few days. Didn't happen though.
During the night of July 15th, she had a lot of difficulty breathing. Chris wanted to take her to the hospital, but she was also very weak so an Ambulance was called. At the hospital she was put on a ventilator. That got her oxygen, but then what to do for her future? Chris said that twice in the first few days she'd almost died. She was too weak, too dehydrated, then her doctor said that a type of tracheotomy could be performed that would let her breath through a tube which supposedly would make it easier for her lungs. She'd be unable to talk anymore, and the risk of infection is apparently pretty high for these types of procedures. Biggest problem for us was the 'no guarantee' of just how long this could work. A month, a year, five years? Just too uncertain. We all talked while mom stayed sedated. It came down to her call. She couldn't talk because of the mask used for the pressurized oxygen she was on then. So it was some written notes, nods or shakes of the head when she was awake. She was told of her options on the morning of the 24th. Chris said her response was a note that said "just help me go to sleep".
Her regular doctor came in that afternoon and was talking with Chris about all that had been told and mom's decision that morning. He insisted in having her awoken from her sedation to ask again if she wanted the surgery. Being out of it from the sedation, this time she indicated she wanted the surgery. Chris called and told me what had been happening and ask what I thought we should do should mom not completely become coherent should a decision be needed.
I said we'd know what she'd really want if she couldn't make the call, but if she could, it had to be hers to make.
So the morning of the 25th she was awake and not sedated. Another doctor was on duty and told them all in the room that after her reviews of the medical history, her opinion was that at best the surgery would buy just a little more time. Not much more. Mom made the decision then and stuck with just go to sleep. Chris said the doctor was okay with that and would do all possible to make her comfortable for as long as possible. Later that morning and back on the sedatives the ventilator was removed. She died at about 5:30 pm.
I wasn't there. I live a day and a half away and since it was to unknown on a prognosis, I went with all the text messages and calls of her condition. I talked on the phone with her but she couldn't answer. Chris said she understood it was me.
Mom was something. She was married too young, she was always talking about how we'd graduated high school together because she was pregnant with me then way back in 1957. While it is unfortunately common today, I often wondered about her life being single and with a kid in that era. She was very opinionated and anyone that knew her knew about that trait. She'd say what was on her mind with no apparent real concern on the repercussions.
And right or wrong, if she thought she was right, that was all that mattered. She'd kept years of her journals, and once when she was moving from Southern Calif to Northern Calif, I saw a couple. She even wrote it as she saw it. Again, right or wrong, she wrote it the way she saw it!
Oh well. I could and should write some of the memories down. If not here then at least on the home computer before they all are gone forever. She was tough! But she was also in a lot of pain and discomfort. It was really a sad day to know that she'd made the ultimate decision about her own life. I know how tough it was for all there in her room at the end, it was similar when Stacy's mom passed away in 1997.
So to know that she's not in the discomfort she was is still a relief.
Tad
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